I'm not a perfect little individual. I don't think I am bad either. I go on with my life like everyone else. I can't help if I get angry. I can't help the way I am. Don't ask me to change.
If I were to do everything I wanted, you would be scared - scared of me, scared for your life. I hate you mother that brought me into this world. I didn't ask for life. I didn't ask to be brought into a world were all I feel is emptiness and sadness. I stopped trying to communicate with you when you stopped listening. I stopped trying to be a good girl when you stopped noticing me. When I say that I just want to disappear, I mean it. I wish I were dead. I am to much of a wimp to do anything about it. If I could die in my sleep without feeling any pain, I would welcome it.
I can't die though. At least without having to find some form of courage inside of me. To those that say that suicide is for the weak, you are wrong. I wish I had the strength to take my own life. I wish I were strong enough to put an end to my daily struggle. I am not. Instead I let people like the woman who brought me into this world without asking me what I wanted control my life. I let her bully me and make me feel like the shit of the Earth.
I'm not a terrible person.
